Having heard something of this whole “Tide Pod craze” from her grandchildren, Mrs. Neufeld of Yarrow, 69, decided to spice up the faspa last Sunday by adding a delightful selection of laundry detergent pods.
“What a spread, Mom! Ham slices, cheese curds, dill pickles, and, oh, look, my favourite: Tide Pods,” said Darryl. “You’ve really outdone yourself this time!”
The Tide Pods were a huge hit with the Neufelds, who likened the experience to the castor oil and lye soap they were made to consume as children.
“I acquired a taste for detergent back in the 80s,” said Darryl, before keeling over and requiring an ambulance.
After having his stomach pumped, Darryl regaled the family with tales of his mom’s home cooking.
“I don’t care what you say,” said Darryl. “Absolutely no one cooks Tide Pods like my mom.”
P.S. The Daily Bonnet would like to remind you NOT to eat Tide Pods. Don’t be an idiot. Besides, they taste nothing like farmer sausage.
P.P.S. What does it say about our society that such a reminder would even be necessary?
P.P.P.S. No, I’m serious. DO NOT eat Tide Pods.
P.P.P.P.S. Are you kidding me, Jeremy? Seriously. Is there nothing you won’t eat?
P.P.P.P.P.S Oba, I’m going to sleep. You’re on your own.
(photo credit: Mike Mozart/CC)