Ted Falk Ditches Debate to Attend Frog Follies

ST. PIERRE, MB

Just a day after having to apologize for–to use official terminology–“spreading bullshit about vaccines,” Provencher candidate Ted Falk has withdrawn from the local debate tonight under mysterious circumstances.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be held accountable for my words and actions,” said Falk. “It’s just that I suddenly discovered I had a prior arrangement. Probably Frog Follies or something.”

After being informed that St. Pierre’s annual Frog Follies festival was months ago, Falk’s team scrambled to purchase tadpoles and a few toads to race around his backyard.

“I’m a very busy man. Can’t you see?” said Falk, urging his new pet amphibian across the line. “I’m really sorry I can’t be at the debate. I truly am, but my friend Kermit desperately requires my attention.”

Falk is hoping he can maintain this whole Frog Follies thing at least until his landslide victory in the election next week, after which time he’ll finally be able to say what he really thinks again.

(photo credit: Frank Schulenburg/CC/wikicommons)

Newlyweds Excited to Rip Each Other's Masks Off in the Hotel Room Later Today
Mennonite Man Can't Decide Whether Politician He Hates is a Nazi or a Commie