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winnipeg jets

Mennonite Life

Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts

January 24, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the Winnipeg Jets announced they had traded superstar right winter Patrik Laine to some team in Ohio, Mennonite Jets fans began fashioning their old Laine jerseys into quilts. “Gotta make some […]

The Outside World

Patrik Laine Traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights

October 25, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After months of speculation, the Winnipeg Jets have revealed that 22-year-old superstar Patrik Laine and his seven million dollar a year salary has been traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights of the Hanover-Tache […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Says Words He’s Never Uttered Before After Scheifele Gets Injured

August 1, 2020 Andrew

KOLA, MB Moments after Winnipeg Jets superstar Mark Scheifele was dragged off the ice with an injury in game one of the play-in series versus the Calgary Flames, the Hiebert family of Kola was treated […]

The Outside World

This Year’s Stanley Cup to be Awarded to NHL’s Most Deserving Fans

March 26, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Since the cancellation of the NHL season is more-or-less a foregone conclusion by now, NHL executives have decided to award the Stanley Cup to the league’s most deserving fanbase, the Winnipeg Jets. “We […]

The Outside World

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

February 17, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets defensemen Neal […]

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