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Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Just Happens to Find Unattended Amazon Packages on Front Doorsteps All Over Town

July 11, 2021 Andrew

VEBRÄATJATHAL, MB Mr. Vebräatja, 47, of Vebräatjathal, Manitoba considers himself the luckiest Mennonite in the region after discovering dozens of unattended Amazon packages on front door steps all over town this weekend. “Waut de hunt […]

Food and Drink

Shoplifter Donates Robin Hood Flour to the Poor

December 3, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC During the Great Abbotsford Flour Heist of 2020, Mr. Dueck, 82, made off with three small bags of Robin Hood flour under his coat and a couple more in a hidden compartment on […]

Food and Drink

Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”

June 17, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB An undercover stakeout of the Plett’s garden last night had led the arrest of Mrs. Dueck, 61, caught red-handed stealing all the ingredients necessary to make a delicious somma borscht. “Oba, why’d she […]

Food and Drink

Cousin Ernie Snags the ‘Obraumtje’ Yet Again

August 17, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Cousin Ernie just always gets in there like a dirty shirt and snatches the obraumtje before anyone else even has a chance at it. “I think this is why he never plays kjnipsbrat,” said […]

The Outside World

Winnipeg Man Gets 20 Years in Prison for Stealing A&W Mug

March 29, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A 40-year-old man from Winnipeg was sentenced to twenty years in a maximum security prison this week for stealing an A&W root beer mug back in 1998. “For years it was a cold […]

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