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spitting

Church

Trudeau to Mennonite Pastors: ‘Stop Speaking So Moistly’

April 8, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Finally somebody said it. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters today what those of us in the first few rows at church have always been thinking, “Dear Pastor Dave, please stop speaking […]

Food and Drink

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

Food and Drink

Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonite people excel in many fields, not least of which is our unrivalled ability to spit. At a recent competition in Winkler, Mennonite horkers and spitters came out on top in nearly every […]

Food and Drink

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Co-Workers Caught Having Meddachschlop in the Photocopy Room
    June 10, 2020
  • Every Single Street in Steinbach to Go Under Construction Simultaneously…and Reverted to Gravel
    June 22, 2016
  • All the Jokes in Plautdietsch Bible are Lost in Translation
    July 17, 2016
  • Cold Reception in Church Lobby Sparks New Ice Age
    July 16, 2018
  • Mennonite Infant Asks to Be Baptized Upon Confession of Her Faith
    December 17, 2016
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