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Quizzes

“When Will I Get the Vaccine?” A Calculator for Mennonites

December 27, 2020 Andrew

Today we’re going to answer the question that every Mennonite’s been asking: “Oba, just when will I get the vaccine yet?” After answering just five questions, this handy calculator will help you figure out how […]

Mennonite Life

“Fearless” Invading Army Chased Out of Steinbach By a Gardening Implement

November 15, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It was a battle for the ages … or as close as it gets in a town full of pacifists, anyway. A “brave and mighty” army of “fearless” warriors from Winnipeg (and a […]

The Outside World

Flat-Earther Cites Saskatchewan as Evidence

July 8, 2020 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK World-renowned flat-earther Mr. Fehr has taken to the Internet to expose the Flat Earth Society’s greatest bit of evidence yet: the Province of Saskatchewan. “I mean just look at it,” said Mr. […]

Mennonite Life

NASA Report: Mennonites Live in Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backwards

May 23, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Observations into deep space have recently uncovered strong evidence that Mennonites are all living in a parallel universe where time runs backwards. “According to our studies, it seems that the Big Bang created […]

Mennonite Life

NASA Commemorates Historic “First Mennonite on the Moon”

November 8, 2019 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS NASA paused for moment of silence this morning in recognition of the 50 year anniversary of the historic landing of Mennonites on the moon. Mennonites made the voyage in 1969 and have been […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Man Self-Isolates After Visit to Jantsied
    March 17, 2020
  • The Official Correct Spelling of Every Mennonite Surname
    March 4, 2018
  • Coca-Cola Adds Mennonite Names to Bottles
    June 8, 2017
  • Tide Pods Added to Grandma’s Delightful Faspa Spread
    January 20, 2018
  • How Many of These Common Mennonite Foods Have You Tried?
    February 24, 2018
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