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Church

Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month

October 15, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Olive Garden locations across the continent have been running short on gift cards after every single pastor received $20 in Olive Garden money for Pastor Appreciation Month. “At first we weren’t sure […]

Church

Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need

July 13, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A local couple, the Penners, has filed a complaint against Pastor Dan for not visiting them as much as Mrs. Wiebe who’s been stricken with a terminal illness and Mr. Plett who’s been […]

Church

Mennonite Pastor Does ‘The Dab’ During Responsive Reading

June 4, 2019 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Pastor Hoffstetter thoroughly embarrassed his teenage children this week after doing ‘the dab’ during Sunday morning’s responsive reading. “I just wanted to lighten the mood a little,” explained Hoffstetter. “Sometimes the readings are […]

Church

Mennonite Pastor Insists Sermon Isn’t Actually About You

May 9, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After an impassioned sermon that covered a variety of topics from greed and vanity to lust and immodesty, Pastor Yoder was met with numerous angry parishioners in the lobby this week who thought […]

Church

Mennonite Pastor Takes Up Vegas Residency

February 28, 2019 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Popular Mennonite minister Johan Schantz, 72, of Elmira, Ontario has been offered a two-year residency at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. The new show will feature sermons, communion, and a nightly […]

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December 2019
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