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The Outside World

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

The Outside World

United States Senate to Perform at Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 1, 2020 Andrew

MIAMI GARDENS, FL Attendees at Super Bowl LIV on Sunday are in for a real treat as the entire US Senate will be performing at what is being hyped as the greatest halftime show ever. […]

The Outside World

Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities

January 7, 2020 Andrew

BOSTON, MA After proving himself for close to twenty years on the smaller American field, it looks like former Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally be getting his shot at the CFL. “We’ve had scouts […]

The Outside World

Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm

October 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mysteriously absent from the Winnipeg Jets lineup so far this season, rumours have surfaced that Dustin Byfuglien is contemplating retirement to pursue his lifelong dream of working for minimum wage on a Mennonite […]

The Outside World

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

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