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The Outside World

Liberals and NDP Merge to form “Giant Scary Socialist Robot from Outer Space”

April 6, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government has undergone a transformation this week and is now under the control of a huge ugly socialist robot from outer space. “OMG! Look, it’s Socialist Prime!” tweeted concerned citizen Mr. […]

The Outside World

Justin Trudeau Among 313 Canadians Banned from “Going Anywhere Near Alberta”

March 18, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Justin Trudeau was at the top of a list of 313 Canadians banned from going “within a hundred kilometers” of Alberta. “We don’t want him wearing a Flames jersey either,” said Calgary man […]

The Outside World

Local MP Wondering What’s With All These “Falk Trudeau” Signs

February 28, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Provencher MP Ted Falk is expressing serious concerns about all the “Falk Trudeau” flags that seem to be lining the streets of his riding. “I think they’re really giving the wrong impression,” said […]

The Outside World

Manitoba Expelled from Confederation After Trudeau Removes First Amendment

February 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba was shocked to discover it was no longer a part of Canada after angry folks on social media suggested Trudeau had removed the “first amendment.” “OMG! Trudeau just tossed the Manitoba Act […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Woman Invokes Emergencies Act to Remove Husband from Bathroom

February 24, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC After her husband Dan had “been on the can for more than an hour,” Mrs. Susan Kliewer of Black Creek declared the Emergencies Act. “My gosh, I bet he’s reading back issues […]

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