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Food and Drink

Impossible to Tell if Bearded Friend is Mennonite or Just Really Into Craft Beer

October 18, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN When a bearded young man named David moved to Goshen from the country a few months ago, his physical appearance had friendly locals unsure whether to invite him to a Bible study or […]

Church

Mennonite Man Brings His Own Bible to BYOB Event

August 11, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mr. Bender, 63, was very excited this past weekend to be invited to his first ever BYOB barbecue just a few doors over at a neighbour’s house. “It’s so nice to see the […]

Church

Mennonite Pastor Suspends Presidential Campaign after Terrible Display in Quilt Auction

March 2, 2020 Andrew

ELKHART, IN After failing to garner more than a fifty dollar bid for his handmade quilt this week, ‘Pastor Pete’ Burkholder has decided to drop out of the Presidential campaign and go back to taking […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Paints His Massey Ferguson Green and Yellow

July 25, 2019 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Local farmer and bachelor Peter Miller, 27, gave his bright red Massey Ferguson a quick green and yellow paint job this past weekend in order to seduce one of the Smucker sisters, who […]

Mennonite Life

Hymn 606 Declared Official State Song of Indiana

November 23, 2017 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb took time this Thanksgiving to unveil “Hymn 606” as the official state song of the Hoosier State. “Out in Goshen and Elkhart they’re singing this all the time anyway,” […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Tracking Her Amazon Package
    December 21, 2020
  • Olive Garden Runs Out of Gift Cards During Pastor Appreciation Month
    October 15, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman to Smother Relatives with Wet Kisses at this Afternoon’s Gathering
    December 26, 2019
  • Mennonite Man Discovers Farmer’s Tan in His Plumber’s Crack
    August 4, 2019
  • NASA Confirms the Existence of Mennonites on Other Planets
    November 24, 2016
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