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hymn

Church

Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118

June 10, 2019 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Mennonites are in celebration this week after a beloved hymn has been uncovered in a little used section of the hymnal. After a decade long investigation into the whereabouts of Hymn 606, investigators […]

Church

Local Mennonite Church Becomes First Ever to Make it All the Way Through ‘Der Friedensfürst’ Without Messing Up

December 22, 2018 Andrew

WITMARSUM, BRAZIL The EMMBC church of Witmarsum, Brazil is in celebration tonight after becoming the first Mennonite church ever to successfully make it through the complex four-part harmonies of ‘Der Friedensfürst‘ without a single screw […]

Church

Grandchildren Completely Baffled by Oma’s Gesangbuch

December 16, 2018 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Oma was very excited to sing out of the old German Gesangbuch with all the grandkids at the Plett Christmas gathering this Sunday, but soon realized things weren’t going to go nearly as smoothly […]

Church

Study Reveals 70% of Mennonites Don’t Know All the Dance Moves to Hymn 606

November 11, 2018 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA A new study out of Southeastern Mennonite University has revealed that a shocking 70% of Mennonites no longer know all the dance moves to Hymn 606. “It’s a shame,” said Mennonite anthropologist and […]

Church

Choir Director Admits He Really Doesn’t Know What the Heck He’s Doing with His Arms

March 18, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mr. Peter Friesen, choir director at Third Mennonite Church in Saskatoon, admitted in a candid interview this past week that he’s basically just standing up there and flailing his arms about randomly. “It’s […]

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