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hutterites

The Outside World

Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team Totally Destroys Slumping Winnipeg Jets

February 17, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB By the time the first period was over, the Hutterite Women’s Hockey Team were already up eight nothing on the slumping Winnipeg Jets. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Jets defensemen Neal […]

The Outside World

Harry and Meghan Spotted at Hutterite Colony

January 25, 2020 Andrew

ELK RIDGE COLONY, AB Megxit has taken a new turn this week after Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, were spotted plucking turkeys at a local Hutterite colony. “Meghan caught on really fast,” said […]

The Outside World

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Big Hit on Hutterite Colony

February 18, 2019 Andrew

WOKE RIVER COLONY, SD A young Hutterite woman at Woke River Colony in South Dakota had some explaining to do after dozens of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posters were found prominently displayed on her bedroom walls this […]

Food and Drink

Hungry President Trump Reluctantly Pardons Delicious Hutterite Turkey

November 20, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In his greatest act of selflessness and humility since taking the Oval Office, President Donald Trump pardoned a delicious Hutterite-raised turkey today. Trump will now have to dine on inferior store-bought turkeys this […]

The Outside World

Hutterite Woman Rollerblades Her Way Into Mennonite Man’s Heart

July 19, 2018 Andrew

FRIENDLY ROAD COLONY, AB Miss Rebecca Kleinsasser of Friendly Road Colony caught the attention of bachelor Peter Wiebe at the Dairy Queen in Taber this week. Wiebe was particularly enamoured by Kleinsasser’s pink rollerblades and ability […]

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