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Mennonite Life

Chaos in Steinbach as No One Knows if Halloween is Tonight or Not

October 30, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Thousands of confused Steinbachers took to the streets tonight apparently under the impression that maybe, just maybe, Halloween might be on Saturday this year… or on Sunday like the calendar says, but who […]

Food and Drink

Thanksgiving Leftovers Miraculously Resurrected After Three Days

October 12, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Days after being forgotten about in a margarine container at the back of the fridge, a plate of Thanksgiving leftovers were resurrected from the dead by local plumber and church elder, Peter […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card

October 10, 2021 Andrew

ROSENHIMMEL, SK Oncle Thomas was turned away at the biannual Peters Thanksgiving gathering in Rosenhimmel this week after he conveniently “forgot” his proof of vaccination. “Oba, I think I left it at home somewhere,” said […]

The Outside World

Controversial Politician Supports Mandatory Vacations

September 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A controversial candidate in the Winkler area has come out in favour of mandatory vacations, a plan that shockingly includes vacations even for dairy farmers. “We have to think of the health of […]

Mennonite Life

Premier Goertzen Declares First Monday in September ‘Meddachschlop Day’

September 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In his first order of business as new Manitoba premier, Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen declared the first Monday in September to be ‘Meddachschlop Day.’ “Normally we’re only having a mid-afternoon nap on Sundays […]

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