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Church

Mennonite Man Called Before the Church Elders for Commenting on an Article Without Reading It

July 28, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mr. Andrew Yoder, 31 was brought before the church elders this week after it came to their attention that he had commented on a Buzz Feed article without reading it and that this […]

The Outside World

Local Man Signals His Own Virtue By Calling Out Virtue Signalling

June 11, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Area man Alex Schmidt, 42, was so sick and tired of “virtue-signalling liberals” on social media that he decided to openly pronounce his own virtuousness by calling them out. “I’m sick and tired […]

The Outside World

Local Man Solves All the World’s Problems with a Single Tweet

June 9, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC In a heroic act of self-sacrifice and solidarity with marginalized people, local man Mr. Toews, 31, took a break from playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 to tweet out the following message to his […]

Mennonite Life

Facebook Rolls Out New ‘Disapproving Mennonite Grandma’ Reaction Button

May 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After finding the new ‘hug’ reaction to be a little too intimate for their liking, Mennonites demanded a reaction button that was more suited to their general inclinations. In response to their demands, […]

Mennonite Life

New FaceApp Just Makes Everyone Look Like a Mennonite

July 18, 2019 Andrew

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA A popular new social media app called FaceApp allows people to add wrinkles, grey hair, and a long beard to see what they’ll look like decades into the future. “Basically they’re turning […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • McDonalds to Offer All-Day Faspa
    February 7, 2017
  • Pastor Insists on Preaching Exclusively from The Authorized Kevin James Version Bible
    July 17, 2018
  • Vote Now to Determine the True ‘Mennonite Promised Land’!
    July 27, 2017
  • ‘Pro-Life’ President Signs Massive New Arms Deal to Slaughter Innocent People Around the Globe
    June 6, 2019
  • Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba
    September 6, 2016
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