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economy

The Outside World

Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page

October 29, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new study out of the University of Chilliwack has attributed the entirety of Canada’s economic downturn to the fact that Canadians are spending all every day refreshing their Covid test result screens. […]

Food and Drink

Trump Orders Farmer Sausage Plants to Stay Open

April 28, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In an effort to make sure that Mennonites don’t starve, U.S. President Donald Trump issued an order Tuesday afternoon to make sure the nation’s farmer sausage supply is not hindered by the global […]

Mennonite Life

Wonder Oil Prices Close in the Negative for First Time in History

April 21, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB When the bell rang to end trading at the Winker Wonder Oil Exchange on Monday afternoon, Mrs. Schellenberg and the others stood in disbelief. “I was in shock! Minus thirty-eight dollars for a […]

The Outside World

Blues Albums Seeing a Huge Surge in Sales Right Now

March 30, 2020 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Things have been so awful the past month or so, that is seems people are turning to music for a little bit of solace. As a result, blues albums have risen to the […]

Food and Drink

Even Borscht is No Longer ‘Cheap as Borscht’ After Surge in Cabbage Prices

February 19, 2020 Andrew

YARROW, BC A cabbage spill on the highway in British Columbia this week has resulted in a cabbage shortage and a corresponding surge in prices. This has sent Mennonites across the globe searching for a […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Discovery Channel’s Documentary on ‘Pacifist Sharks’ is ‘Most Boring’ Program Ever Aired During Shark Week
    July 28, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Breaks His Vow of Pacifism to Defend the Last Can of Pepsi
    October 16, 2016
  • Thousands of Mennonites ‘Conscientiously Object’ to Winter
    January 21, 2017
  • Donald Trump Replaces Entire NFL With Russian Ballerinas
    September 26, 2017
  • Local Woman Sells ‘Essential Mennonite Oils’
    July 23, 2019
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