WASHINGTON, DC Donald Trump is “super pumped” today after the Mueller Report completely left out any mention of the Russian Mennonites. “I’ve been totally exonerated,” said Trump. “I know Crooked Hillary and the Dems were […]
KIDRON, OH A Mennonite Hymnal signed on page 606 by President Donald Trump has recently appeared on eBay with an astronomical asking price of $85,000. “Oh, no, not Hymn 606!” shouted Mrs. Stoltzfus. “He can […]
HANOI, VIETNAM Donald Trump and Kim Jun-un have declared “world peace” after devouring a delicious bowl of Vietnamese pho in Hanoi this afternoon. “Dang, I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my life,” said Trump, […]
WASHINGTON, DC President Donald Trump has over-stepped Congress and declared a “national emergency” after reports out of Kansas indicate that the nation’s Mennonite farmer sausage supply was at an all-time low. “Mr. Wall of Newton […]
HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]
Copyright © 2019 The Daily Bonnet - All Rights Reserved