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donald trump

The Outside World

Trump Becomes First Member of New Ana-Impeachment Sect

January 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After going through the process a second time, President Trump has become the world’s first member of the radical Ana-Impeachment sect. “I was worried the first impeachment wouldn’t count,” said Trump. “After all, […]

The Outside World

Twitter Hires the Amish to Shun Trump

January 12, 2021 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Social media giant Twitter has hired a bunch of Amish to do what only Amish (and maybe a few Mennonites) can do: shun Trump. “We haven’t done a shunning in a while, […]

The Outside World

Right Winger Aghast at Private Company Exercising their Free Market Right to Ban Trump

January 9, 2021 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Libertarian types around the globe were totally aghast at the “disgusting display of free enterprise” after private corporation Twitter decided to exercise their free market right by deciding who can and who […]

Mennonite Life

“I Thought it Said ‘Make Altona Great Again'” says MP

January 9, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After literally minutes of controversy, Portage-Lisgar MP Candice Bergen is finally speaking out about the undated photo of her wearing a camo MAGA hat. “I thought it said ‘Make Altona Great Again,’” Bergen […]

The Outside World

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

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