WASHINGTON, DC President Donald Trump has over-stepped Congress and declared a “national emergency” after reports out of Kansas indicate that the nation’s Mennonite farmer sausage supply was at an all-time low. “Mr. Wall of Newton […]
HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]
WINKLER, MB Church board member and man-about-town Mr. Toews of Winkler is threatening to shut down the local government unless the local senate approves a $5.7 billon wall around the neighbouring town of Morden. “You […]
WASHINGTON, DC Spirits were high and there was an air of celebration at the White House today, as the Saudi Crown Prince agreed to join President Trump for a lovely Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. “I’ve […]
WASHINGTON, DC In his greatest act of selflessness and humility since taking the Oval Office, President Donald Trump pardoned a delicious Hutterite-raised turkey today. Trump will now have to dine on inferior store-bought turkeys this […]
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