Church
Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date
ALTONA, MB Nervous Peter, 18, finally worked up the courage to ask out Melissa who sits three seats in front of him in Mr. Epp’s period 3 Math class at WC Miller Collegiate. To his […]
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Church
Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service
SASKATOON, SK The EGCMB Church of Saskatoon has installed five Slurpee machines and a place to rotate the wieners so that they can reopen as an essential business this Sunday. “Come for the gospel, stay […]
Church
Guilt Levels Reach Record Lows as Mennonites Stay Home on Sundays
LA CRETE, AB Mennonites around the globe were feeling a lot more chill about their behaviour than normal after not attending church services the past couple weeks. “It’s strange. I feel kind of free, you […]
Church
Americans Left Completely Religionless as Sports Shut Down
PHILADELPHIA, PA Millions of Americans have been left without a religion to call their own as all the professional sports leagues on the continent have shut down due to the pandemic. “Well, I guess I’m […]
Church
First Mennonite Church Shall Become Last
ROSENHOF, MB In an effort to appear more humble the First Mennonite Church of Rosenhof is changing its name to the Last Mennonite Church of Rosenhof. “We’re proud of how humble we are,” said Pastor […]