HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]
MEADE, KS The Friesens of Kansas have an announcement to make: “We’re not Canadians!” “Any time I go anywhere people assume I’m from Manitoba,” said Mr. Friesen. “Gosh, you know not all the Friesens left […]
REGINA, SK Missing for nearly forty years, Andrew Scheer’s American passport was discovered wedged between two old couch cushions in a suburban Regina bungalow this week. “It was right there next to a few Cheetos […]
ST. JOHN’S, NFLD Attracted by all the natural resources and fiddle music, US President Donald Trump is in serious negotiations today with the Canadian government to purchase the island of Newfoundland lock, stock, and barrel. […]
KITCHENER, ON Concerned citizen Mr. Yoder of Lancaster is livid this week after discovering that Canadians celebrate the 4th of July a full three days early. “It’s disgusting! Those Canadians have no patriotism at all!” […]
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