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Mennonite Life

Senator Gets Lost on the Way to Landmark, Manitoba

January 8, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB On his way to Landmark, Manitoba during the holidays, Canadian Senator Don Plett got totally disoriented and somehow wound up in a beautiful Mexican resort instead. “Diewel, these roads are confusing,” said Plett. […]

The Outside World

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

Mennonite Life

People Keep Assuming Kansas Friesens are Secretly Canadian

February 10, 2020 Andrew

MEADE, KS The Friesens of Kansas have an announcement to make: “We’re not Canadians!” “Any time I go anywhere people assume I’m from Manitoba,” said Mr. Friesen. “Gosh, you know not all the Friesens left […]

The Outside World

Andrew Scheer’s American Passport Found Wedged Between Mrs. Reimer’s Couch Cushions

October 6, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK Missing for nearly forty years, Andrew Scheer’s American passport was discovered wedged between two old couch cushions in a suburban Regina bungalow this week. “It was right there next to a few Cheetos […]

The Outside World

Trump Offers to Buy Newfoundland from Canada

August 23, 2019 Andrew

ST. JOHN’S, NFLD Attracted by all the natural resources and fiddle music, US President Donald Trump is in serious negotiations today with the Canadian government to purchase the island of Newfoundland lock, stock, and barrel. […]

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