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The Outside World

Gary Bettman Attempts to Move the Steinbach Pistons to Arizona

October 3, 2016 Andrew

GLENDALE, AZ Villainous NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman has laid out plans to move every Manitoba Junior Hockey team, including the beloved Steinbach Pistons, to small towns throughout Arizona. “We’ve already ruined the NHL by placing […]

Mennonite Life

Former Resident Longs to Smell Steinbach Feed Mill One More Time

September 26, 2016 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Retired school bus driver Vern L. Toews enjoys his new life in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, but says there are a few things about living in Steinbach that he misses. On the top of […]

Mennonite Life

Menno Simons Donates ‘Gently Used’ Items to New Steinbach Hardware Store

September 24, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB 16th century Anabaptist leader Menno Simons made an appearance at a new Steinbach hardware store this week to donate some ‘gently used’ items he no longer had use for. Among the items he […]

The Outside World

Oil Company to Reroute Pipeline Through World’s Most Famous Cemeteries

September 7, 2016 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Despite significant opposition to the project, one of the world’s major oil companies has elected to route their new pipeline to make sure it damages as many sacred burial grounds as possible. The pipeline has […]

Food and Drink

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

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