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barack obama

Mennonite Life

‘Birthers’ Demand Baptism Certificate from Daily Bonnet Founder

July 24, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Skeptical of his Mennonite credentials, a half dozen conspiracy nuts from just outside Steinbach are demanding to see the baptism certificate of Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger. “We want to see his long-form […]

The Outside World

Mennonite Sunday School Kids to Open for Barack Obama

March 4, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual Bible memorization competition will take a larger stage this year after former President Barack Obama invited the little tykes to be the opening act for his performance tonight in Winnipeg. “I’m […]

The Outside World

Hidden Farmer Sausage Discovered in Obama’s Portrait

February 15, 2018 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC “It’s clearly a secret message for the Russian Mennonite community,” said Elder Janzen of Omaha. “He had formavorscht on the brain.” Janzen is referring to the recent portrait of former President Barack Obama, […]

Church

Mennonite Pastor Earns $400,000 for Wall Street Sermon

May 4, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Retired Mennonite pastor Dave Froese of Alt-Bergfeld EMB just raked in more than $400,000 for an hour-long sermon on Ephesians 6 he gave at a meeting of Wall Street bankers. However, the […]

The Outside World

Obama Confesses Everything on His Final 4th of July as President

July 4, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Outgoing President Obama took time out of his schedule on his last Independence Day as President to admit that everything his detractors and conspiracy nuts have ever said about him is completely and […]

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