RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA
After an online Twitter war with the Canadian Prime Minister about human rights, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has made the decision to “immediately remove any and all statues of Justin Trudeau within the Kingdom.”
“There’s that really big one just outside the Masmak Fortress. That’s gotta go! Besides it’s completely covered in pigeon shit. What an eyesore,” said a Saudi representative. “It’s also not uncommon for our citizens to keep tiny hand-carved busts of Justin Trudeau just above their beds. Those are going to be rounded up and destroyed as well.”
Saudi police are also going door-to-door and examining everyone’s phones to make sure they don’t have a selfie with Mr. Trudeau stored on there somewhere.
“We’re ceasing any and all relations with Canada,” said the press release. “Except for the weapons they sell us. We’ll keep those.”
A Saudi representative said what he’d miss most is all the delicious Canadian maple syrup, but said it was worth it to teach Canada a lesson about diplomacy.
“Let this be a warning to all the countries of the world: if you want to trade with Saudi Arabia, you have to turn a blind eye to our atrocious human rights record,” said the memo. “It shouldn’t be that hard. You’ve all been doing it for decades already.”
The decision comes just days after the Saudi government decided that all Justin Bieber statues will be taken down by the end of the month.