Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards

HOLMES COUNTY, OH

The cream of the crop of the Mennonite world gathered at the Holmes County Motel 6 this week to celebrate the annual Sunday School Attendance Awards. The evening is normally a celebration of all the great things that come from regular Sunday School attendance, but the night was spoiled by a no holds barred roasting of “Mennonite elites” by host Ricky Gervais.

“Just get up here, thank your pastor and Menno Simons and get off the stage,” said Gervais. “No moralizing speeches! You’re in absolutely no position to criticize the public’s lack of Sunday School attendance!”

Gervais then spewed a long list of grievances about everything from the declining quality of Mrs. Stutzman’s pies to Mr. Bender’s association with notoriously stingy tither Mr. Horst.

“It was difficult to sit through,” said Mennonite elder and ten-year evening service attendee Mr. Miller. “Let me tell you, this is certainly the last time we’ll be inviting an Englisher to host our Sunday School awards!”

Although it did make some people uncomfortable, many saw the speech as refreshing and said the Mennonites had it coming.

“I think he made a number of good points,” said Mrs. Buhler, who travelled all the way from Kansas for the event. “I just think Ricky Gervais is hardly the right person to be criticizing anyone’s Sunday School attendance.”

Despite the controversy, the ratings were said to be through the roof, especially among liberal Mennonites who allow television use.

(photo credit: Raph_PH/CC)

Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities
Shocking New Photos Show Dramatic Glacier Retreat