Plautdietsch Ranked as ‘World’s Saxiest Accent’

SCHÖNWIESE, MEXICO

Move over French, there’s a new accent in town: Plautdietsch! According to a new survey conducted by Guillermo Toews of Schönwiese, Mexico, Mennonite Low German (aka Plautdietsch) is the “saxiest accent in the world.”

“There’s yust something about that Mannanite accent that reeeally gets me going,” said Toews. “And trust me, I’ve heard many other accents and they just aren’t as saxy.”

Toews conducted the study by having his cousin Tina whisper into the ears of all the men of the colony to see if their toes curled. He also had representatives of numerous other accents do some whispering as well.

“The top saxiest accents were Plautdietsch, Anglish, Hutterite, Dutch, Russian, and a regional dialect known as the Grunthal pits accent,” said Toews. “French didn’t even make the top ten.”

Toews also cited the large families that Mennonites tend to have as evidence of Plautdietsch’s saxiness.

“Whenever I travel the women are always intrigued by the way I talk,” said Toews. “Averyone wants to date the man with the Plautdietsch accent.”

According to some of his travelling companions, Toews’s romantic success is largely due to the fact that all the women mistake his accent for like Scottish or something.

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