In an effort to reduce lineups and assist the voting process, a local group is petitioning Steinbach to include each candidate’s church affiliation on all future ballots.
“It’s the most important information there is,” said local resident Mr. Berg. “What else do I need to know? Who’s your daddy and what church do you attend?”
Founded by the Kleine Gemeinde, Steinbach has experienced dozens of schisms and revivals over the years, resulting in dozens of churches that, with rare exception, all basically believe the exact same thing.
“But I would never dare vote for an EMBBCM!” said Mr. Berg. “Have you seen how little water they use in their baptisms?”
Mr. Berg says he’s a staunch MBBCer and will never vote for anyone but another MBBCer.
“It’ll be great to have that valuable info on the ballot,” said Mr. Berg. “That way I won’t have to take the church directory with me when I vote.”
Mr. Berg was eager to vote for a true MBBCer who represented the “traditional values that Steinbach was founded upon.” Unfortunately for Mr. Berg, he was completely unaware that one of those traditional Steinbach values was strict separation of church and state and refraining from any participation in politics including voting.