Moses Walks Back the Ten Commandments

MT. SINAI

After forty long days up on the mountain, Moses came down this week and announced a brand new set of unchangeable commandments. Or, so he thought. Moments after chiseling the commandments in stone, Moses’s pal Aaron held a press conference to announce he had made a few modifications.

“No other gods before me? Are you sure about that there, Moses? Seems kind of restrictive, now, doesn’t it?” said Aaron. “I think if you limit each household to five gods or less, we all should be fine and keep everybody happy.”

Aaron pointed out the fact that the locals had already created a golden calf and were parading around it yelling, “Muh freedoms! Muh freedoms!”

“Look, I know Aaron won’t let me enforce these commandments, but the message is still the same,” said Moses. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me. None. Got it?”

The locals nodded their heads and said, “oh, yeah, yeah, gotcha, Moses,” and proceeded to fill their homes with just as many gods as they pleased.

“Come on, people! Idolatry is spreading in these parts like wildfire,” said Moses. “Have you seen the numbers? Have some sense. These commandments are for your own good.”

But no one would listen.

Then the Lord sent a plague on the people, because they made the calf—the one that Aaron made.

Frugal Manitobans Celebrate as Christmas Gatherings Banned this Year
Winnipeg Cult Leader to Hold Massive 'Anti-Seatbelt' Rally in Steinbach