Mennonite Man Still Chewing the Same Piece of Mom’s “Steak” from 1987

KLEEFELD, MB

For the past thirty years, Steve Kroeker of Kleefeld, now well into his fifties, has been chewing the same piece of overcooked steak his mom served the family in 1987.

“I’m not one to give up and hide that unchewable piece of steak in a napkin,” said Kroeker. “When I start a project, I always finish.”

Back in the 80s, Mennonite families were hyper paranoid about eating undercooked meat and so cooked their meat until it had the consistency of a hockey puck.

“It also didn’t help that we were eating an old dairy cow,” said Kroeker. “Even the filet mignon on that thing is a dense mass of rubber.”

Kroeker is keeping on chewing, though, and is hoping to get the piece down his gullet sometime in the next decade or so.

“I can feel it balling up in my mouth,” said Kroeker. “It’s not quite soft enough to swallow, but with a bit more chewing I tthink we’re nearing the end now.”

In other news, Steve’s father Harold has been gnawing on the same piece of gnurpel since the mid-90s.

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