BIRD-IN-HAND, PA
A Mennonite man who wishes to remain anonymous (for obvious reasons) is blaming the Clintons for the mysterious death of his prized sheep and long-time companion Molly.
“I don’t know what to say, but the Clinton body count keeps growing,” said Mr. S_____________. “Molly must have had some dirt on Bill. I’m really chocked up over this.”
Mr. S is also blaming the Clintons for the death of three bulls and a sow over the past half decade.
“It seems like every now and again, one of my livestock passes away,” said Mr. S. “And we all know how much Bill Clinton likes a good burger. Coincidence? I think not.”
The story has taken the Internet by storm and poor Molly has been added to a growing list of alleged Clinton victims.
“It just seems like anyone with any connection to the Clintons disappears under suspicious circumstances,” said Mr. S. “I mean over 2.2 million sheep are killed each year in the United States. What were the numbers before the Clinton administration? A lot lower I’m sure.”
Recently, an old photo of a grinning Bill wearing a straw cowboy hat has surfaced online, which only fuelled rumours that Molly just must have known something.
