Frugal local man Dan Kehler has just asked his doctor for an official certificate stating that he is “medically incapable of tipping.”
“It causes me such angst to tip,” said Kehler, “and I don’t just mean doing the math. I just can’t handle the thought of voluntarily giving up 5 to 10% extra like the Englishers do.”
Kehler proudly made use of his Tipping Exemption certificate at the end of his meal at the local diner this afternoon.
“As soon at the bill came, I hauled out my laminated card and proceeded to count out the exact amount to the penny,” said Kehler. “The server was upset at first, but then I explained that I have a medical condition.”
Kehler says his medical condition is something he’s inherited from his ancestors.
“I think it’s in the genes,” said Kehler. “My father didn’t tip, my grandfather didn’t tip. As far as I know Kehlers have been incapable of tipping for centuries. It’s just part of who we are.”
Upon hearing about Kehler’s medical condition, the server produced her own official certificate saying she was medically incapable of topping up Mr. Kehler’s coffee in a timely manner.
(photo credit: NAIT/CC/modified)