Shocked by his past history of “locker room talk” and recent use of the “S word”, Mennonite grandmother Maria Hildebrand, 78, took President Donald Trump aside this week and thoroughly washed his mouth out with soap.
“Nah, Jung, that is not the way we talk yet,” said Mrs. Hildebrand. “The boys don’t even talk this way in the barn when they think I’m not listening.”
Hildebrand claimed to use extra-strong homemade soap made from lye in hopes that it would be powerful enough to keep Trump from saying such vile things again.
“That young man needs to be taught a lesson,” said Hildebrand. “Seems like he could use a spanking, too. Just wait until Dad comes home with the belt.”
After the incident Trump was seen retching over a bathroom sink, trying to rinse the remaining soap out of his mouth.
“That Mennonite grandma sure taught me a lesson,” said Trump, wiping off the soapy saliva that dripped from his face. “I’m just glad she didn’t break out the castor oil.”
(Photo credit: Scott Harris , CC BY 2.0)