Cheerful Manitobans across the province, and Manitoba diaspora across the globe, are gathering via Skype today to celebrate 150 years of all the things that make the province great including, but not limited to, our world-renowed roads.
“Our first pothole appeared on May 12, 1870,” explained Premier Pallister, unveiling a commemorative plaque at the Forks, “and we’ve been proudly keeping our streets in nearly undriveable condition ever since.”
Manitoba is famous across the globe for its natural beauty, friendly people, and potholes that could swallow a Buick.
“When people ask me what makes me proud to be a Manitoban, there are a lot of answers I could give: Burton Cummings, that woman from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, honey dill sauce. But I always hold my head up high and say, with tears in my eyes and a hand over my heart, that ‘our province has the incredible distinction of having road conditions to rival the very worst in the world.’”
Manitoba’s world class potholes and uneven streets are supplemented with absolutely heavenly washboard roads in the province’s rural areas.
“Whether you’re destroying your suspension in Winnipeg or shattering your windshield outside Blumenort, you can rest-assured our road conditions will not leave you disappointed.”
Some Manitobans are saddened that this heritage of atrocious roads could not be celebrated in large groups this year, but most are totally okay with it since staying at home means less wear and tear on the car.