Local Garden Thief Claims She Was “Just Trying to Make Somma Borscht”


An undercover stakeout of the Plett’s garden last night had led the arrest of Mrs. Dueck, 61, caught red-handed stealing all the ingredients necessary to make a delicious somma borscht.

“Oba, why’d she have to steal?” said Mrs. Plett. “If she’d just told me she was running low, I’d have given her all the sorrel she needed and then some!”

Also missing from the Plett’s garden were five heads of cabbage and few green peppers.

“I have no idea what she was going to make with that,” said Mrs. Plett, “but her husband will have the healthiest prostate in all of Hanover!”

Mrs. Dueck faces thirty days in prison or else she has to cough up a fine of two-hundred jars worth of canned beets.

“I think I’ll just pay the fine,” said Mrs. Dueck. “It ain’t no loss. These were the Plett’s beets anyway.”

(photo credit: Kate Dugas/CC)

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