Last Church in Town Finally Drops ‘Cumbersome Mennonite Label’

KLEINFELD, SK

In the 1920s, the small town of Kleinfeld had more than a dozen Mennonite churches of various shapes and sizes. In 2018, all the churches are still around, though over the years most of them have dropped the ‘Mennonite’ label fearing it would alienate newcomers.

“The EMBBC church was the last hold-out,” said Pastor Bob. “But we figured it was finally time to get rid of the cumbersome Mennonite label and just go with the flow. From now on we’ll be known as the West Eastside Kleinfeld Evangelical Bible Gospel Fellowship Church.”

Pastor Bob says he was sick and tired of losing members to all the other churches in town that dropped the Mennonite label years ago.

“If you want to attract young people, you’ve got to be willing to toss out a few core components of your belief system such as peace, non-conformity, and the separation of church and state,” said Pastor Bob. “Those sorts of ideas just don’t mean anything to the people of today, so why bother with that Mennonite label?”

Most of the churches in town, including The God Zone and Agape World, have completely thrown Mennonite doctrine by the wayside when they made the name change.

“I’m not sure how we’re going to win back all those people who left us,” said Pastor Bob. “But I’m absolutely certain that dropping the word ‘Mennonite’ is a key element of that strategy.”

In reaction to the news, more than half a dozen Kleinfeld churches have decided to revert to calling themselves “Mennonite” because apparently that’s the cool thing right now.

(photo credit: by alkula’s /CC)

Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People
Dating Couple Finds Convenient Loophole in Purity Pledge