Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN

In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by spring sometime around March or April.

Diewel, Dietschlaund, Schinda!” proclaimed local farmer Mr. Klassen of Mountain Lake. “If I had known we’d be getting winter this year, I’d have been better prepared! What am I ever to do!”

Mrs. Klassen is frantically canning all the vegetables she can in preparation for this totally unprecedented thing called winter.

“Winter? Wow, I was completely blindsided by that one!” said Mrs. Klassen. “It’s a good thing I stocked up on mason jars or we’d really be quite the pickle – no pun intended.”

The almanac is predicting snow in some places and less snow in other places, like further south. It’s also suggesting that the west coast may get some rain and that it’s going to be “really freakin’ cold come January in Minnesota.”

“It’s a good thing I have my trusty almanac, or I just wouldn’t know what do,” said Mr. Klassen. “After last year I sold all my winter clothes thinking it was a one and done sort of situation. I guess I’ll be heading back to the thrift store to see if I can at least buy back my ski pants. Who would have thunk we’d be getting winter again this year! What a strange world we live in!”

(photo credit: Jinx!/CC)

Trump Appoints Faceless Amish Doll to Fill Vacant Supreme Court Spot
Dusty Springfield Song Haunts Pastor's Son His Whole Life