Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener

EDMONTON, AB

The Edmonton Elks will face the Calgary Grammar Police in the CFL season opener on August 6 at Commonwealth Stadium.

“It’ll be a battle for the ages as the Calgary Grammar Police will attempt to display their pluralization prowess against the seemingly deficient Elks,” said CFL analyst Milts Stegalls. “I think the key to victory for the Grammar Police is to simply stand their ground on defence and hope for a few turnovers.”

The Elks claim they are in the right and that an S can be added to the name elk if it represents a collective.

“Besides, I’ve never heard of anyone in Calgary who ever gave two shoots about grammar,” said Elks fan Bethanys Epps. “Down there, they’re all lucky if they can spell their own names.”

In their defence the Elks pointed out that the the plural of Stampeder is Stampederi and that the Toronto hockey team has been called the Maple Leafs not Leaves for decades and not even the Grammar Police have seemed to notice.

(photo credit: Daniel/CC)

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