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The Outside World

The Outside World

Local Cult Gets Their Own Reality Show

January 10, 2021 Andrew

AYLMER, ON The History Channel is excited to announce a new addition to the 2021 lineup. Starting next Sunday, some self-proclaimed Apostles and a wacky cast of sidekicks will restore worn out churches brought in […]

The Outside World

Right Winger Aghast at Private Company Exercising their Free Market Right to Ban Trump

January 9, 2021 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Libertarian types around the globe were totally aghast at the “disgusting display of free enterprise” after private corporation Twitter decided to exercise their free market right by deciding who can and who […]

The Outside World

U.S. Capitol to Be Replaced with One Massive Banana Republic

January 7, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Just hours after an embarrassing security breach at the United States Capitol building, government officials announced the commencement of major renovations to turn the place into a “totally epic” Banana Republic outlet store. […]

The Outside World

Trump Pressures Mennonites: “Find 11,780 Vogts!”

January 5, 2021 Andrew

BEATRICE, NE Desperate to turn the tide of the election, President Trump has called on state officials to “find Vogts wherever you can.” “We need 11,780 Vogts. Could be Henry Vogt. Agnes Vogt. Peter Vogt. […]

The Outside World

Kenney Commands All MLAs to Vacation in La Crete from Now On

January 3, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Jason Kenny has gotten into some hot water as of late for allowing eight of his most precious MLAs to travel during the holidays despite public health orders not to do […]

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