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Food and Drink

Food and Drink

Local Pastor Reassures Paranoid Congregation: “Don’t Worry, Chem Trails are Just Schmaunt Fat”

January 19, 2021 Andrew

R.M. of RHINELAND, MB After months of growing paranoia, a local pastor has decided to address a matter that was plaguing the minds of some of his more circumspect congregants. “Chem trails are nothing to […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Grandma’s Vintage CorningWare Worth Millions and Millions of Dollars

January 4, 2021 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A set of casserole dishes that Mrs. Brubaker, 76, got as a wedding gift in 1964 has sold for a record $8.5 million dollars at a local thrift store this week. “I think […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Leftover Rice Pudding: A Daily Bonnet Recipe

January 2, 2021 Andrew

Today we’re bringing you part two in our very sporadic Daily Bonnet recipe series. Previously we brought you a classic: raw farmer sausage and vinegar. If you managed to master that complex recipe, here’s another […]

Food and Drink

Archaeologists Uncover ‘Mennonite Faspa’ Frozen in Pompeii Ash

December 29, 2020 Andrew

NAPLES, ITALY A newly uncovered food stall frozen in time in the ruined city of Pompeii reveals that ancient Romans had a penchant for fresh Bothwell cheese curds and rolled up slices of ham held […]

Food and Drink

Shocking Display of Sobriety Shown at Office Christmas Party

December 26, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Reports from the annual Christmas party of the law office of Dyck, Friesen, and Froese indicate that a shocking display of sobriety was demonstrated by almost all the employees. “It’s like this every […]

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