Oba, so you thought you’d have a nice evening alone with your hubby, but Henry has invited all the church men over to watch the Jats game yet. They’re doing a lot of yelling and the only way to shut them up once it to ply them with food. Well, you don’t have time to make vereniki – oba, nay! – so, let’s look at some easy Mennonite recipes you can make in a flash!
And the best of all, none of these involve any cooking whatsoever.
- Raw cookie dough – You’ve always got a batch of cookie dough in the freezer, right? It’s always better raw, so why bake it? Salmonella is just an added bonus.
- Leftover rice pudding – Throw last night’s rice into a bowl, add some milk, sugar, and cinnamon, and voila! The perfect dessert for the big game! And it’s basically free.
- Raw farmer sausage and vinegar – Perhaps the most gourmet offering on this list, raw farmer sausage and vinegar is the steak tartare of Mennonite cuisine. Slice, stick a toothpick in it, and enjoy!
- Fresh squeaky cheese curds – These are best on Thursdays when they’re released from the factory. The boys may have to turn the volume up on the game to hear it above the sound of squeaking cheese.
- Ham slices – Brilliant in their simplicity, this classic Mennonite dish is usually reserved for funerals, but can work during a playoff game if you’re in a bind. Roll, put on a plate, and enjoy!
- Raw sticks of rhubarb – Cookie dough and farmer sausage are just two of many things Mennonite enjoy raw. Rhubarb reigns supreme. Just don’t eat the leaves. Also, adding sugar is a cop-out. Not allowed!
- Raid the pantry for pickled things – Mennonites pickle everything, not just cucumbers, so why not let the boys into the cellar and pop open a few jars? The pantry raid is a classic Mennonite escapade.
- Blumenort Tap Water – As Mennonites, we like our tap water with a little touch of sulfur. Who doesn’t enjoy that eggy smell fresh from the tap? It’s every Mennonite’s favourite beverage. Fill the pitcher and pass it around! Bothwell tap water is also an acceptable alternative.