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Month: February 2021

Food and Drink

Niagara Mennonites Vote to Im-Peach Pastor Dave

February 8, 2021 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON While Mennonites in other parts of the world commission new pastors through ordination, laying on of hands, or rebaptizing the ones who didn’t get it done properly, the Mennonites of the Niagara […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Woman Takes Home the Super Bowl

February 7, 2021 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Mrs. Esther Friesen, 82, of Newton, Kansas managed to sneak into the church kitchen this Sunday and grab the 1970s Tupperware bowl that she’d left there before the pandemic began last year. “I’m […]

Mennonite Life

7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)

February 6, 2021 Andrew

These days you have to be careful when you’re using emojis. You don’t want to unintentionally seduce the pastor’s son. In order to aid clear and concise communication, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy […]

Mennonite Life

Winkler Officials Worried About Potential Koop D’Etat

February 5, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After recent takeover attempts in Mynamar and Washington, government officials in Winkler are concerned about a potential Koop d’etat in their neck of the woods, too. “Those Koops. Always unsatisfied with the democractic […]

The Outside World

Calgary Defeats Winnipeg 5 Bogus Slashing Calls to 3

February 4, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB In an effort to get more pacifists watching the game, the NHL has imposed a new minimum of five bogus slashing calls per game. “The team with the fewest bogus slashing calls wins,” […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Woman Eats All Her Popcorn Before the Movie Even Starts
    February 4, 2020
  • Mennonite Church Shut Down Has Anabaptists Reluctantly Attending Episcopal Churches
    January 14, 2019
  • Oba, That Mennonite Chiropractor Can Fix Everything Yet
    November 22, 2016
  • 7 Mennonite F-Words Everyone Should Know
    December 2, 2017
  • Heated Political Discussion Leads to Brawl at Friesen Thanksgiving Gathering
    October 13, 2019
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