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Month: January 2021

Quizzes

Can You Identify These Mennonite Cities from Aerial Photos?

January 31, 2021 Andrew

When your dead relatives look down at you and shake their heads at all your secret bad deeds, well, just what vantage point are they looking from anyway? How much can they really see? We […]

Church

Long Forgotten Episode of ‘The Simpsons’ Eerily Predicts the New ‘Voices Together’ Hymnal

January 30, 2021 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Over the years, long running television sitcom The Simpsons has correctly predicted everything from smartphones to the election of Donald Trump. Well now you can add the new ‘Voices Together’ hymnal to that […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Hedge Funds Shorting Stock at Quilt Auction

January 29, 2021 Andrew

BUCKS COUNTY, PA Mennonite quilt stocks have been soaring this week after a group of Mennonites on Reddit decided to bankrupt the billionaire Mennonite church elders who’d been shorting the precious quilt stock. “Honestly, I […]

Mennonite Life

No One Elected to Baseball Hall of Fame Except for this One Mennonite Dude from Rosenhof

January 28, 2021 Andrew

COOPERSTOWN, NY Move over Curt Schilling. For the second time in the last ten years, the Baseball Hall of Fame has decided that absolutely no one except for a Warkentin from Rosenhof was worthy of induction. […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Career Fair Offers Two Options: Preacher or Farmer

January 27, 2021 Andrew

LINDEN, AB The Mennonite Career Fair of Southern Alberta met in Linden this week to offer graduating students a wide range of job options: preacher or, even, farmer. “First we get the young people to […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Full Grown Man Still Eats Sugary Children’s Cereal
    July 10, 2020
  • Mennonite Pastor Launches String of F-Bombs in Last Sermon Before Retirement
    July 25, 2018
  • Embarrassed Manitoba Premier Seeks Treatment for Premature Election
    June 19, 2019
  • Mennonite Family Forced to Wear Their Parkas Indoors So Dad Can Save on the Hydro Bill
    December 5, 2018
  • Quilt Cartel Jacks Up Prices at Mennonite Relief Sale
    May 27, 2018
January 2021
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