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Month: October 2020

Mennonite Life

“I am Mennonite,” Borat Reveals in New Film

October 27, 2020 Andrew

KARAGANDA, KAZAKHSTAN A whole host of awkward and peculiar behaviour by renowned journalist Borat finally has an explanation that makes sense. Borat, apparently, is a Mennonite. “I am Mennonite. Very nice,” says Borat in the […]

Mennonite Life

“Where the heck can I buy ‘Once Removed’?” says Mennonite Man Who Fails to Find it for Ten Cents at the Thrift Store

October 26, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than a month after Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger released his hilarious new novel Once Removed, Mr. Penner of Steinbach still has not been able to find it for ten cents at any […]

The Outside World

Patrik Laine Traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights

October 25, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB After months of speculation, the Winnipeg Jets have revealed that 22-year-old superstar Patrik Laine and his seven million dollar a year salary has been traded to the Blumenort Menno Knights of the Hanover-Tache […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Man Sours the Mood at Local Funeral by Hoarding All the Pickles and Decaf

October 24, 2020 Andrew

GREENLAND, MB Thousands of Toewses descended on Greenland, Manitoba this week for the latest Toews funeral and were shocked to discover the absence of dill pickles. “Okay, so I’ve got my cubed cheese, deli meat […]

Mennonite Life

‘Sheeple’ Farm Opens in Southern Manitoba

October 23, 2020 Andrew

SHEEPLETON, MB Agriculture continues to evolve in southern Manitoba. This year, in fact, the branding of people we don’t agree with as ‘sheeple’ has now surpassed cattle and hog farming as the most popular agricultural […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts
    January 21, 2020
  • 7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You
    August 28, 2017
  • Typo Leads to Confusion at Local Store
    November 19, 2020
  • Homeschool Grad Has Drive-In Ceremony on His Own Driveway
    June 19, 2020
  • Mennonites Dump Gallons of Yerba Tea into Chicago River
    March 17, 2019
October 2020
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