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Month: May 2020

Food and Drink

Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire

May 31, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Richard Dyck, 57, is facing a slew of criticism this week after bringing something other than Ronnie’s knackzoat to a local bonfire. “I don’t know what came over that man. If […]

Church

Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible

May 30, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Concerned pastors in the Abbotsford area have hired a local tech firm to create an app that traces how much contact each member of their congregation has had with the Word of God. […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes

May 29, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man Timothy Toews, 36, decided he’d try to earn himself a few minutes of meddachschlop this week and hand-wash a beer glass he’d used earlier in the afternoon. When his wife Amanda got home, […]

The Outside World

Music Fans Celebrate as Ticketmaster Earns Zero Dollars this Month

May 28, 2020 Andrew

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA With concerts being cancelled around the globe, the one silver lining for music lovers this year has been the fact that the gougers at Ticketmaster didn’t earn a single penny in recent […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man’s Car Spotted in Liquor Store Parking Lot

May 27, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB There’s a reason why Mennonites drive nondescript vehicles – so they don’t get identified in the liquor store parking lot. Well, obviously Mr. Wiens did not consider all the implications of his decision […]

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Mannanite News Yet!

  • ‘Mennonite Heritage Week’ Comes and Goes Without a Single Mennonite Noticing
    September 18, 2020
  • Municipality Approves the Sale of Hash Brownies at Church Bake Sales
    November 9, 2017
  • Local Man Starts ‘Citizens Concerned About Absolutely Everything’ Facebook Page
    May 29, 2016
  • Mennonite Man Walks Around in ‘Thongs’ All Summer
    June 27, 2019
  • TV Remote Far Too Complicated for Taunte Mary
    November 14, 2016
May 2020
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