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Month: May 2018

The Outside World

Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns

May 31, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

TORONTO, ON CBC broadcasting legend Don Cherry is known for his loud clothing, but throughout the playoffs he has been sporting “suits inspired by Mennonite floor patterns.” “I’ve been to Neubergthal and the museum there […]

The Outside World

Jordan Peterson Refuses to Use God’s Preferred Pronouns

May 30, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

TORONTO, ON Controversial University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has been become infamous in his efforts to battle so-called “political correctness,” and has resolutely refused to use the preferred pronouns of many individuals, including, apparently, […]

Food and Drink

Mennonites React to Doug Ford’s ‘Buck a Beer’ Plan

May 30, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

TORONTO, ON Brother of late great Toronto mayor Rob Ford, Ontario PC candidate Doug Ford has gained a lot of attention for his unconventional policy proposals during this provincial election campaign. Recently, Ford proposed to […]

The Outside World

North Kleefeld Dictator Kim Jung Unrau to Meet With Donald Trump

May 29, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

SINGAPORE After secret negotiations in Grunthal, longtime North Kleefeld despot Kim Jung Unrau is set for historic peace talks with American President Donald Trump next month in Singapore. “Kleefeld has been divided between the Unraus […]

The Outside World

Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard

May 28, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

TAMPERE, FINLAND After a playoff run that ended in disaster against the Vegas Knights, Winnipeg Jets superstar Patrik Laine has left the Mennonite faith and decided to shave off his beard and toss his suspenders […]

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May 2018
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