The Daily Bonnet
  • Quizzes
  • Mennonite Life
  • Food and Drink
  • Church
  • The Outside World
  • About the Daily Bonnet
Mennonite Life

Help Mr. Funk Decide: Is He Swiss or Russian Mennonite?

March 2, 2021

KITCHENER, ON Mr. Funk of Kitchener has recently uncovered information on a popular genealogy website that has completely shattered his conception of himself. “I’ve had a crisis of identity,” said Mr. Funk. “I always thought […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Woman Wins National Curling Championship

March 1, 2021

CALGARY, AB Mary Dueck, 58, of La Crete, Alberta has taken home the 2021 Canadian Women’s Curling Championship by successfully leaving a set of ten pink plastic rollers on her head for a record six […]

Church

  • Mennonite Woman Accidentally Attends English Service After Sleeping In and Missing German Service
    January 19, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Dies After Serving on One Too Many Church Committees
    October 22, 2017
  • Mennonite Sect Heads to Toronto to Await the Rapture
    February 25, 2019
  • Church Attendance “Way Up” in Calgary as Flames Threaten to Leave Town
    January 26, 2018

Food and Drink

  • Raw Onions 30% More Effective than Castor Oil to Prevent Swearing
    April 24, 2017
  • Mennonite Child Opens Lunch Box to Find a Lard Sandwich Yet Again Today
    May 10, 2019
  • Mennonite Woman Nearly Fe’schluckes Herself
    February 22, 2018
  • “Buying Crackers is For Suckers!” Claims Mennonite Woman
    November 19, 2019

Mennonite Life

  • What is Your Mennonite Personality Type?
    September 11, 2017
  • Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied
    December 17, 2020

Oba yo! More News!

  • Mennonite Church Holds Lottery to See Who Can Attend Church this Week
    February 23, 2021
  • Why is the Mennonite Town of Goessel, Kansas Shaped Like a Gun?
    February 22, 2021
  • The Mennonites of Africa Quiz
    February 21, 2021
  • A Guide to Underwear Shopping for Mennonite Men
    February 20, 2021

The Outside World

  • Royal Couple Name Newborn Baby “Prince Corny”
    April 24, 2018
  • Mike Pence Sworn in as President of the United States
    May 17, 2017
  • Questions about Hillary Clinton’s Health May Disqualify Her From Ushering in Church
    August 23, 2016
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled

February 28, 2021

Mennonite Man Generously Splurges on Dessert at Local Pub

February 27, 2021

Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries

February 26, 2021

Mennonite Church to Pipe in Fake Crowd Noise

February 25, 2021

St. Catharines, Ontario to be Renamed Taunte Katherine’s

February 24, 2021
March 2021
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Feb    

 
YOUR TRUSTED SOURCE FOR MENNONITE SATIRE

Copyright © 2021 The Daily Bonnet - All Rights Reserved