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Food and Drink

Mexican Mennonite Woman Invites Friends Over for the Wrong Kind of Disco

March 6, 2021

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mrs. Epp invited her friends over after church this week for what she thought would be a socially-distanced grilling of meat on a giant wok made from an old plow disc, but […]

Food and Drink

Mennonites Blame Trudeau for Slow Waffle Sauce Rollout

March 5, 2021

WINKLER, MB Mennonites at the Winkler manor were getting cranky last night and were blaming Justin Trudeau when a full twenty minutes after the waffles arrived, some residents had not yet received their first serving […]

Church

  • Mennonite Pastor Arrested for ‘Baptizing Under the Influence’
    May 2, 2017
  • Local Church Adds Cake-Baking to List of Holy Sacraments
    June 6, 2018
  • Mennonite Elders Support Trump’s TikTok Ban
    August 1, 2020
  • Mennonite Man Sits at End of Pew, Absolutely Refuses to Scooch Over
    November 30, 2018

Food and Drink

  • Mennonite Couple Can’t Figure Out Whether to Go to Winkler or Morden Chicken Chef
    May 17, 2017
  • Mennonite Woman Shunned for Not Making Her Own Crusts
    January 21, 2020
  • Mennonites Worried Bill Gates is Microchipping the Schmaunt Fat
    May 15, 2020
  • Portland Brewery Offers Vaccine Tasting Flight
    December 19, 2020

Mennonite Life

  • Mennonite Novelist Irma Voth Pens New Novel Called ‘Miriam Toews’
    January 11, 2019
  • Ten Ways that Mennonites are ‘Greener’ than You Are
    May 17, 2019

Oba yo! More News!

  • Mennonite Man Generously Splurges on Dessert at Local Pub
    February 27, 2021
  • Joe Biden Continues Longstanding American Tradition of Bombing the Hell Out of Foreign Countries
    February 26, 2021
  • Mennonite Church to Pipe in Fake Crowd Noise
    February 25, 2021
  • St. Catharines, Ontario to be Renamed Taunte Katherine’s
    February 24, 2021

The Outside World

  • NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village
    June 22, 2016
  • American Man Claims to be Huge ‘Hackey’ Fan
    December 6, 2019
  • Credit Union Accidentally Gives Loan to Englishers
    October 14, 2017
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Newton’s “World’s Tallest Mennonite” Drafted by Golden State Warriors

March 4, 2021

Rumspringa 2021 Not Nearly as Wild as Amish Boy was Hoping For

March 3, 2021

Help Mr. Funk Decide: Is He Swiss or Russian Mennonite?

March 2, 2021

Mennonite Woman Wins National Curling Championship

March 1, 2021

Hollywood’s Biggest Stars Gather to Celebrate One Full Year of Not Saying Something Stupid Enough on Twitter to Get Cancelled

February 28, 2021
March 2021
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