Trudeau Insists Kill-Shot is ‘Merely a Flesh Wound’

OTTAWA, ON

Days after a Canadian sniper set a world record by killing an Iraqi man from a really frickin’ long distance, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is deflecting accusations that Canada’s involvement in Iraq has moved beyond the ‘non-combat’ role he had previously outlined. In a press conference this morning Trudeau referred to the famous kill shot as ‘merely a flesh wound.’

“You call that a kill shot?” said Trudeau, examining pictures of the deceased enemy. “Tis but a scratch!”

When reporters drew the Prime Minister’s attention to various gruesome details in the photo, Mr. Trudeau just scoffed.

“I’ve seen worse,” said the Prime Minister. “I mean, you should see the other guy.”

Reporters then supplied Trudeau with a graphic video of the kill shot, footage that the Prime Minister studied with great interest, before dismissing as inconclusive.

“I guess we’ll call it a draw then,” said Trudeau. “Alright, no more questions.”

The Prime Minister is also planning a grand sesquicentennial party on Saturday, where he plans to honour the millions of non-combat soldiers who valiantly non-combatted in various non-battles in the World Non-Wars.

(photo credit: by batmoo )