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money

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Woman Still Writing Her Cheques for 2018

January 13, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

PLUM COULEE, MB The Plum Coulee Credit Union is just about fed up with Mrs. Friesen’s cheques dated to January 2018. Credit Union staff has warned her on numerous occasions to “get with the times” […]

Mennonite Life

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

Food and Drink

Mennonite Man Wins A Million Dollars Worth of Farmer Sausage After Mr. Loeppky Scores 5 Goals in Floor Hockey Game

November 24, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

ROSENORT, MB After a stellar performance by Darren Loeppky in the EMC gymnasium this evening, one lucky member of the congregation is being awarded a million dollars, payable in farmer sausage over the next twenty […]

Food and Drink

Zwieback Added to Periodic Table of Elements

November 4, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry has decided they’ve given up on mercury and decided to replace element 80 with the dry Mennonite bread known has zwieback. “It’s one of the […]

The Outside World

Canada Pays Off Entire Federal Debt One Day After Marijuana Legalization

October 18, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

OTTAWA, ON Less than 24 hours after cannabis became legal in Canada, the federal government announced they had made so much money in tax revenue from the sale of legal weed that they were able […]

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February 2019
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