Dutch Blitz Players Now Required to Wear Full Body Armour
LANCASTER, PA The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has recently ruled that all Dutch Blitz players in the region must sport full body
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Mennonite Politician Pushes for $0.15 Minimum Wage
TORONTO, ON Local Mennonite MPP Allan Schultz is calling for the Ontario government to set the minimum wage at 15
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Justin Trudeau to Legalize Rhubarb Platz
OTTAWA, ON After decades of pressure from platz-users across Canada, the Trudeau government has announced it will introduce legislation to
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Manitoba Government Introduces Strict ‘No Kill’ Policy for Mosquitos
WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, the Manitoba government announced a new initiative that seeks to address the growing mosquito population by
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Mike Pence Sworn in as President of the United States
WASHINGTON, DC Ultra-likable former Indiana governor Mike Pence was sworn in as President of the United States this afternoon in an
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Mennonite Pastor Arrested for ‘Baptizing Under the Influence’
STEINREICH, MB A local Mennonite pastor was arrested this past weekend for allegedly baptizing more than half a dozen people
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Winkler Man Caught at Morden Bar
MORDEN, MB In a recent sting operation, the Winkler Vice Squad have arrested yet another Winklerite drinking at the Morden Bar. The unnamed
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Trump Deploys Aircraft Carrier to Attack Canadian Dairy Cows
WASHINGTON, DC According to a report from Fox News, US President Donald Trump has approved the deployment of five heavily armed
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Quebec Separatists Demand to Take Ste. Anne, Manitoba With Them
MONTREAL, QC A sovereigntist group in Quebec, the Front de Liberation de Quebec and Other Parts of Canada, or FLQOPC
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Dozens of MPs Come Forward During House of Commons Altar Call
OTTAWA, ON Not wanting to miss an opportunity to spread the Good News, back bench opposition MP Pete Friesen of Saskatchewan
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