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The Outside World

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Big Hit on Hutterite Colony

February 18, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

WOKE RIVER COLONY, SD A young Hutterite woman at Woke River Colony in South Dakota had some explaining to do after dozens of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posters were found prominently displayed on her bedroom walls this […]

Food and Drink

“I Did Inhale”: Mennonite Politician Confesses to Consuming Borscht

February 11, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

OTTAWA, ON In a recent television interview, Canadian MP Lina Klippenstein confessed to consuming large quantities of komst borscht during her “wild college days.” “I’m not going to lie to you,” said Klippenstein. “It was […]

Food and Drink

Molson Drinkers Really Excited About Canada Food Guide’s Recommendation to Drink More Water

January 23, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

OTTAWA, ON The new Canada Food Guide was released this week and is already causing quite the stir. The new guidelines suggest that Canadians should eat more vegetables and whole grains, while “making water your […]

Church

Mennonite Church Shut Down Has Anabaptists Reluctantly Attending Episcopal Churches

January 14, 2019 Andrew J. Bergman

HARRISONBURG, VA A nationwide Mennonite church shut down, now the longest in U.S. history, has Anabaptists scrambling to figure out “where the heck we’re going to worship on Sunday morning.” Most have decided to give […]

The Outside World

Local Pastor ‘Fuming Mad’ He Wasn’t Invited to ‘First Ministers Meeting’

December 10, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

MONTREAL, QC A pastor of a small town Mennonite church was absolutely furious this week after he found out he did not get in invite to the First Ministers meeting in Montreal. “What, so the […]

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