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Mennonite Life

What if Alexa was Mennonite?

April 4, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

WINKLER, MB Researchers in Winkler have hacked an Amazon Alexa Personal Assistant and implanted it with the voice of their Oma Gerta Sawatzky. The new Amazon Gerta is available in fine Mennonite retailers everywhere. Here […]

The Outside World

Lonely White Male Spends Romantic Evening Alone Watching Ben Shapiro Videos

February 14, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

CALGARY, AB Jeffrey Froese, 31, manager at a local Office Depot, plans to spend an intimate evening alone tonight watching videos by controversial right-wing political pundit Ben Shapiro. This is basically what Froese does every […]

Church

Mennonite Woman Confesses to Photoshopping Church Directory Photos

February 1, 2018 Andrew J. Bergman

GOESSEL, KS Mrs. Penner, 83, of Goessel has been responsible for compiling the EMB church directory for more than thirty years and, so far, everyone had been quite satisfied with her work. A little too […]

Mennonite Life

Advice from a Mennonite IT Guy

August 27, 2017 Andrew J. Bergman

STEINBACH, MB After being down for almost 72 hours, the elders at the Steinbach EMMBC church are taking it as a “sign from above,” that the Daily Bonnet is “just no good yet.” The elders […]

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