Strange and/or Creepy Google Search Words That Led People to the Daily Bonnet

It’s been quite a year at the Daily Bonnet. Thousands of people have visited our site looking for Mennonite satire. A few, however, have been searching for, let’s just say, peculiar things when they’ve come across the Daily Bonnet. WordPress/Google statistics actually reveal to me what words people were searching for when they found the Daily Bonnet. Most were innocuous like “Daily Bonnet” or “Mennonite satire” or looking for a specific post. Some were pretty hilarious. Here are a few worth mentioning.

This is 100% real. Not satire.

  • daily bonnet socks” – We were selling t-shirts for a while, but we’ve never had socks for sale, although that does give me an idea. Anyone know any grandmas willing to knit socks in mass quantities and at a price suitable for re-sale?
  • “do Mennonites play cards” – The answer, for those of you who were searching, is yes…on the sly.
  • “sharing my Russian mail order bride” – I suppose a full price mail order bride is just too expensive for some people, so I guess one lonely soul was trying to find a way to reduce their costs by sharing. How nice.
  • “winkler safeway” – Any information you might find about the Winkler Safeway store on the Daily Bonnet is bound to be a little less than reliable. It’s nice to know, in this day an age, that some good and wholesome people are still using the Internet to search for info on groceries, though.
  • “first cousin marriage” – I suppose this was inspired sometime after the Holiday season during all those family gathering. That, Hans, oba, he’s handsome…but he’s also my first cousin. It’s always good to know the facts about first cousin marriage before diving into something.
  • “very obscure old testament names for girls” – It’s good to know that some parents at least, aren’t just going for the regular Old Testament girls names, but the really obscure ones. They’re probably hipsters.
  • “can you get drunk off welsh’s grape juice” – I’ll assume this question was sincere, and I guess it makes sense to ask, since no one has every consumed more than a tiny thimble of the stuff. Maybe a full glass gets you hammered. It’s worth asking.
  • “nude Mennonites” – I can see why people would be searching for this. After all, us Mennonites are very attractive people, especially in the buff. Unfortunately for this poor fellow, we tend to be rather modest and don’t take photographs of ourselves disrobed. He’ll have to marry one of us to find out the answer to his query.