Stash of Sears Catalogues Discovered Under Hugh Hefner’s Mattress

HOLMBY HILLS, CA

Days after the world’s most famous misogynist Hugh Hefner passed away at the age of 91, cleaning staff at the Playboy Mansion found a large stash of 1970s Sears catalogues beneath the Playboy Magazine founder’s bedroom mattress.

“No, Hugh, no!” said one shocked staffer. “To find out a man you respected and admired as a pillar of the community was actually harbouring this deep dark secret is just devastating!”

Those close to Hugh claimed they had no idea he had a penchant for paging lustfully through the last thirty pages of the Sears catalogue.

“I’m just going to tell myself he was looking at the draperies,” said a family friend. “I simply can’t imagine a man like Hugh would objectify women in this manner. It would be beneath him.”

The discovery of the Sears catalogues is causing even his biggest fans to question their loyalty to Hefner.

“I always thought of Hugh Hefner as someone to look up to,” said one young man, shaking his head in disbelief. “He was a hero, a beacon of hope, a lighthouse on the hill. But now that I found out about the Sears catalogues, I just don’t know anymore. That’s just disgusting.”

After the shocking discovery, an effort is already underway to buy the Playboy Mansion and turn it into a sex addiction treatment centre.

(photo credit: Mike Mozart/CC)