Pastor Mansplains for 40 Minutes this Morning

GOSHEN, IN

After a delightful special number from the Janz sisters, Pastor Greg took the podium this morning and mansplained his way through the entire fifth chapter of Ephesians.

“Turn in your Bibles to the Book of Ephesians,” began Pastor Greg. “Before I go on, I’ll give time for the ladies to find it. It’s the book right after Galatians in the part of the Bible commonly called ‘The New Testament.’ Repeat that with me, ladies, ‘The New Testament.’ Alright? Got it?”

Greg then went on in great detail about the precise way that, according to him, wives were to submit to their husbands.

“Some might say I’m taking this out of context, but, actually, let me tell you–now listen up, ladies, because this is for you–actually, it’s very clear,” said Greg. “Submit. Do you know what the word ‘submit’ means? It means ‘to listen and obey without questioning.’ Make sense? Are you sure?”

Pastor Greg then breezed over the last nine verses of the chapter, saying that the ladies in the audience needn’t worry their “pretty little heads about them.”

“I was really moved by his mansplaining this morning,” said elder Bob. “The pastor was just on fire today. Too bad I’ll have to mansplain the whole thing to my wife this afternoon.”